My Name Is Dano And I’m 9 Years Old And My Favorite Team Are Joe Montana

Dano in a Joe Montana shirt he wore...when he was 9! It's on his body but I wouldn't say it actually "fits", Bob.

OF COURSE these two teams would be on a Super Bowl.  

I’m old now so I understand how everything works but when I was a kid I DIDN’T.  All I knew in 1993 was that Joe Montana was my favorite player.

Like literally, that’s all I knew.  I barely understood First Downs at 9 years old.  I just knew that the 49ers were always in it and usually won it and Joe was the guy who did that and therefore I was really a Joe fan and he just happened to be the quarterback of the 49ers.

Hear Dano read this post instead:

Little did I know that injuries and time wear down players (even legends), or that the 49ers actual legacy prior to the 80s was abject failure, or that some franchises like the Detroit Lions or Cleveland Browns had never even been to a Super Bowl.  Kick rocks!  I don’t care.  I’m 9 years old.

So when the 49ers traded Joe to the Kansas City Chiefs in April of 1993, I thought it was the worst April Fools Day ever.  I was devastated. I remember the San Francisco Chronicle cover story used this weird picture of Joe in a golf cart with Huey Lewis for some reason.  I legit thought Huey was driving him to Kansas City and hated Huey for it (sorry Huey). Suck an egg, I don’t care!  I’m 9 years old.

Of course I’m an idiot and the newspaper I saved is NOT the one I just referenced above with Huey Lewis. I thought I had it, sorry. I’ll go back to 1993 and slap myself if you can provide the DeLorean.

My Mom was right there with me, full TEAM JOE.  Somehow we ended up with allll this Kansas City Chiefs stuff.  You take it for granted now with Amazon, but in 1993 in Petaluma, CA if you had a Kansas City Chiefs hat that meant you got on a plane, flew to Kansas City Missouri and bought a hat, which might as well have been a trip to the moon for a 9 year old.

SO ANYWAY Niners make it to one of the last games with this guy Steve who won “NFL MVP” or whatever, but JOE made to to the AFL end game and if he won it was gonna be a Niners verse Chief SUPER BOWL.  AWWWWWWW what would happen?!

Well it didn’t happen, and after two years Joe retired (turns out all those injuries were and would continue to be serious).  And that Steve guy won a Super Bowl for my 49ers shortly thereafter. Point made, it was clear who my team should be.

When I was a kid I saved tons of San Francisco Chronicles when important stuff happened. Here’s a few from the Niners ’94 SB WIN.

But as the years rolled I still followed the Chiefs.  Especially as they kept trading for four 49ers Quarterbacks (four!) including one of my favorites, Alex Smith.  I liked them. I rooted for them. They sorta have the 49ers colors. They are the Bizarro 49ers who kept Joe Montana instead of trading him.

When the 49ers played in the 2012 Super Bowl it was really easy to hate the Ravens (and I still do).  This season has been an absolute blast and I’m all-in to win on Sunday…but I’m suuuper old now, I’m over 30.  I’m not a kid even I have my own kids! It’s weird.  I’ve seen my teams lose championships in every major sport-  2002 Giants, 2012 49ers, 2015-16 Warriors and (eyeroll) 2015-16 Sharks.  I’ve also seen the Giants and Warriors WIN THREE CHAMPIONSHIPS in 5 years each.  It’s awesome….but honestly your life is still the same.  Over a long enough timeline you eventually see every storyline play out.

So no matter what happens I’ll be some version of good or “okay” this Sunday.

Unless wait what if Joe come back off retiremount and start for BOTH TEAMS Sunday cause he used to play for them both?!  Out of retire just to come back to play for both sides, could you imagine what hat would I wear?!