Eclipse Report from Splash’s Mom

CORRECTS LOCATION TO SALEM, NOT REDMOND - The moon partially covers the sun during an eclipse Monday, Aug. 21, 2017, near Salem, Ore. (AP Photo/Timothy J. Gonzalez)

 

Splash’s Mom resides in the MONO (Middle of Nowhere Oregon) roughly 72 miles from the Completely Underwhelming in Sonoma County Eclipse Type Dealio That We Can All Stop Talking About Now.

Here’s Splash to introduce his Mom before her Froggy 92.9 radio debut:

“I call my Mom ‘Mother Dear’ because that’s what she truly is to me. She wholeheartedly saved my life when I was twelve years old with an altruistic kidney donation, she’s whip smart quick with hilarious retorts and is the reason I revel in the silly and goofy. She planted herself on her porch this morning just before 9 am in her long ago purchased, and quite stylish, eclipse sunglasses. Here is her ninety second response to the momentous celestial event…”

 

 

Splash’s Mom also attempted to place her eclipse sunglasses in front of her phone’s camera lens to take a photo.

 

 

“Round of applause, high-fives and unrestrained cheering for my Mom!” (I now return you to your internet browsing, already in progress.)